Leadership is Trial and Error

Why Getting It Wrong Might Be the Most Important Skill You Have

I was making a Valentine’s candle with my son Torin several weeks ago.

Which sounds calm. Thoughtful. Maybe even a little Pinterest-worthy.

It was not.

Torin is equal parts creative and confident. So he really thinks that whatever he’s about to try will definitely work. We had wax, dye, a scent we probably used too much of, and a general plan that felt solid for about… two minutes.

We poured the first batch. Color looked off. “Okay, that’s fine,” I said. “We’ll adjust.”

Second try. Now the scent was strong enough to clear the room. Torin just looked at me like, “Is this… still a gift?”

At that point we had a choice. Scrap it. Or keep going. So we kept going. A little less dye. A little less scent. A different plan for the wick.

And somewhere in the middle of all that trial and error, we made something that turned out pretty great. Not because we knew exactly what we were doing. Because we kept adjusting.

That’s Adaptive Learning.

Most of us were trained to wait for clarity before we act. Get the plan right. Make sure it works. Then go.

Your brain doesn’t learn that way.

Your brain predicts, tests, updates, and tries again. Over and over. It’s less like following directions and more like tuning a radio. Small adjustments until the signal gets clearer.

That matters more than ever right now. In your work. In leadership. In conversations that don’t go how you expected.

When this skill is weak, people stall. They wait. They overthink. Or they double down on something that isn’t working.

When it’s strong, people move. They test. They adapt in real time.

That’s what this month’s Practice Path is about.

Not getting it right.

Getting better at trying.

If you want to build this skill in a real, practical way, the full Practice Path is waiting for you below. I put it together for paid subscribers so you can move from just understanding this idea to actually using it in your day. Small steps. Real moments. The kind of practice that helps this stick when things aren’t clear.

Because here’s the truth.

Understanding leadership isn’t what changes the world. Practicing it is.

The world doesn’t suffer from a lack of ideas about leadership. It suffers from a lack of leaders who are willing to step into the moment, try, miss, adjust, and try again. People who don’t wait for perfect clarity. People who don’t need certainty before they act. People who are willing to shape better outcomes in real time.

Every conversation you lean into. Every moment you adjust instead of withdraw. Every time you choose to stay engaged and update instead of shut down. That’s not small.

That’s how brains change.
That’s how people change.
That’s how systems change.

And right now, whether we realize it or not, the world is full of moments that need that kind of leadership.

So don’t just learn this.

Practice it.

Because the better we get at shaping our own predictions, regulating our own energy, and staying connected in hard moments, the more we become the kind of leaders people can actually follow.

And if enough of us do that, we don’t just improve our teams or our organizations.

We build a better world.

One brain at a time.