The Way You Talk About Behavior Is the Problem

How everyday phrases shape what you see and what you miss

I know. I’ve been talking about prediction a lot. If you’ve been reading along, you’ve probably thought, “Alright Rick, I get it. The brain predicts.”

That’s fair.

But here’s what I’ve learned after teaching this over the years. Many people still don’t really get it yet. They recognize the idea, but they don’t use it when it matters.

And that’s the whole point.

Prediction isn’t just another concept to add to the list. It is the process underneath behavior. All behavior! Your behavior and everyone else’s behavior.

When someone checks out in a meeting, pushes back on feedback, avoids a task, or leans into a challenge, their brain is making a call about cost, uncertainty, and energy. That prediction shapes what they do next.

If we don’t understand that, we fall back on easy explanations. Explanations like, “They don’t care.” “They’re being difficult.” Or “They just need more accountability.”

Those explanations sound simple and make sense at first. They also miss what is actually driving the behavior.

My constant focus on prediction hopefully keeps you focused on what the brain is doing, not just what the behavior looks like.

The first time you hear about prediction, it sounds interesting. The next few times, you start to recognize it. After enough reps, hopefully you begin to default to it.

That’s the shift that makes change possible. You are not trying to remember a concept. You are trying to replace an old habit.

Most of us have spent a lifetime seeing behavior as intentional, personal, or skill-based. That has formed a strong habit. It takes repetition to build a new habit. One where you automatically ask, “What is the brain predicting right now?”

Without that repetition, there will be no shift.

So, if you really want to work better with behavior, you need practice.

Reading about it and going to a training or two won’t get it done. You need to put it into action.

Because behavior shows up fast. Your interpretation shows up even faster.

So if your practice is:

• “They’re being disrespectful”
• “That shouldn’t be happening”
• “They need to try harder”

That’s what will run in real time.

If your practice becomes:

• “They might be predicting a higher cost”
• “They might not have enough energy right now”
• “They might not be clear on what’s next”

Now you have options.

That’s the difference between reacting and responding.

This is where most people get stuck. They understand prediction. But they still talk about behavior the old way. And language is a dead giveaway. Because the words you use shape what you see. And what you see shapes how you respond.

I often use the example of “stranger danger.”

If you use that phrase, you’re likely to see the situation as unsafe right away. The focus becomes avoiding the person, getting distance, shutting it down.

But if you shift the language to something like, “No pattern yet, consult others” you see something different. You pause and look for more information. You widen the input. You borrow other people’s experiences and perspectives. That helps your brain build a better prediction, not just a faster one. It moves you from reacting to learning, and that usually leads to a more accurate read of the situation.

The problem is that’s not what usually happens.

It’s not that people don’t understand prediction. It’s that the old language shows up first. And whatever language shows up first tends to win.

Because language is not just how you describe behavior. It is how you practice seeing it.

If your language stays the same, your interpretation stays the same. And if your interpretation stays the same, your response usually does too.

The goal is not just to learn a new idea. The goal is to install a new way of seeing that shows up fast enough to make a difference.

And the fastest way to do that is to change the words you use every day. So I’m building a series designed to help you do that. I call it Neuro Translations.

The idea is simple. Each post will take common phrases you already use and turn them into something you can actually use in the moment.

Think of it as reps. Small, quick reps that help this way of thinking show up faster.

Because in the heat of the moment, you don’t rise to your best thinking. You fall back on what comes to mind first. This series helps you change what comes to mind first.

So when something happens, you have better words ready, not just better ideas.

Pay attention to the phrases you use today. You might be surprised what they’re pointing to. We’ll start breaking some of those down in next month’s post.

If you want to keep building these skill, visit the training page on my website for more tools and training.

And if this helped, share it with someone else.

Better language leads to better understanding. And better understanding leads to better responses.